F
requently Asked Questions - About Me!


The seventh leading distributor of peanut butter in the Tri-State Area, ADAAAM NEEEEEEDEFF!

I'm a con-artist who likes to take part in identity theft; to make things easier for me, what is your full name? --Doug C., Weehawken, N.J.:  
Adam Christopher Nedeff
*
Looking at your last name is making me dizzy. How do you go about pronouncing a name like that?--Sandra L., Cash Point, LA:    
NEED-ef
*
I'm an obsessive fan who likes to send the webmasters of my favorite sites birthday presents. What is your date of birth, so that I may properly time shipment of a dead animal I found in my yard?--Ben R., Rifle, CO
 November 30th
*
I just awoke from a 30-year-coma...Is it still cool to ask "What's Your Sign?" and if so, what is yours?--Gene Z., Snowflake, AZ

No, and Sagittarius
*
Who should I blame for your existence?--Corley D., School of Journalism Dean, Marshall University

My parents, Linda (a 5th grade teacher) and Roger (a FedEx courier)
*
They didn't spawn others like you, did they?--Virgil B., Kansas City, MO

I have two older siblings. My brother is Aaron, father of two and 8th-strongest policeman in the state of Ohio. My sister is Sue Ellen, Notre Dame graduate and currently employed by the Department of Homeland Security. My parents figured out some time ago that I would be the gigantic disappointment, so at least they're not surprised.
*
Do you like animals? I like animals. (Awkward silence)--Keith S., Medicine Hat, Alberta

I have a three-legged cat named Lucky.


*
Why in God's name would you name a three-legged cat "Lucky"?--Stan H., Choconut, PA   
 Well, when you stand him side-by-side with a two-legged cat...
*

Do you watch anything beyond game shows?--Alex R., Newport News, VA

When the sun goes down, the TV goes on. Jon Stewart, David Letterman, and Conan O'Brien all have a friend in me. Fox animated programming generally gets my viewership, and of course, no matter how much HHH tries to ruin things, I watch wrestling. It's like a drug addiction for me.Got a favorite wrestler?
--Nate B., Double A motel in Denver, CO

Contemporary: Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. All-time, Roddy Piper before 1994. Honorable mention goes to Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, who wasn't exactly a wrestler, but he absolutely merits mention with the names above.
* Thought about being a professional wrestler yourself?--Jeremy M., Inmate #901276, Cobb County Department of Corrections

Not after being knocked loopy at a show in Huntington.

*

Do you...do you like movies?---Morty I., Little Egypt, IL   
Only when they aren't preceded by a slideshow about turning off the cell phone that I don't own, a commercial for an SUV that I won't buy that looks like a movie trailer, and four previews for movies I couldn't be less interested in. As a result, I haven't actually been to a theater in a LONG time.  Favorite movies are "M*A*S*H*" and "Airplane!"

*
Do you...do you hate movies?
---Larry G., Gimli, Manitoba

"The Ring", one of the last movies I saw in a theater, may be the stupidest thing I've ever seen. How many movies have four consecutive endings (aside from "Clue")? And how many movies make a specific effort to establish that a little boy has psychic abilities, without ever getting around to having a payoff for it? I'm proud to say the three people I saw it with assisted me in ruining the film for everyone else in the theater by laughing out loud at the climactic scene in the apartment. By what stretch of the imagination is a little girl crawling out of a TV supposed to be frightening?

*
I've decided that I'll fill a hat with a bunch of possible questions and e-mail you the first one I pull out...Do you like sports?---Eugene P., Hungry Horse,
MT
     

 Watching, never. Participating, sometimes. I enjoy bowling despite being terrible at it and take in a friendly round of mini-golf when the weather's nice. I'm also #82 on the WMUL-FM softball team. The name on the back of the jersey is "Mister Bad Example."

*
I'm an obscure scientist toiling on methods of human cloning in an attempt to become famous. Do you have any genetic skills that make you a worthy candidate for cloning?
---Marlin D., Jolly Corner, FL    
I can make the Vulcan sign, do a "wave" with my stomach, make a loop with my tongue, and put my whole fist in my mouth (which isn't a genetic thing, but it's pretty cool to watch).

*


I'm about to visit the Huntington, WV, area and I'm trying to blend in. Are there any stupid nicknames you have there that I can call you so I can blend in?---Clay D.,
Little Hope, GA
  
Among various circles of friends and co-workers, I have a surprising number of nicknames:

1. Neidermeyer
2. Elvis
3. Belushi
4. Chops
5. Dreamsicle
6. Game Show
7. Porno Guy (based on a hidden talent of mine, making "wokka jawokka" noises with my mouth)

*
How would I know you if I saw you walking down the street? I want to make sure I'm not beating up the wrong guy. ---Brian C., Noyes, MN    
I almost always wear a Hawaiian shirt (or an old flannel during the winter). I have sideburns and glasses that seem to get a little thicker each year. So if you see a shaggy lookin' dude with big sideburns and a loud shirt, that's me.

*
So where do you see yourself in 20 years?
---Hoke M., Number Nine, AR   
With three Emmys, a Golden Globe, a People's Choice award, a best-selling book. and two or three really AWFUL movies to my credit.
I will also have a really hot wife.


*
So are you dating anyone right now?-
-Pat W., Old Hundred, NC    
The fact that I went to this much trouble typing phony questions for a page about myself really should have answered that question already. Sigh...

*
Who's the black private dick who's like a sex machine to all the chicks?--
Chris E., Sample, TX|
Shaft.