That money-grubbing Whammy;

loathed from Seattle to Miami.

We hate them 'cause they're thieves, a fact that's on the books.

But those ego-ridden Whammys think we're jealous of their looks.

If someday you meet the Whammy,
Your hands just might get all clammy.
He'll take away every last buck,
The very thought makes you upchuck.
But if he robs you of all your dollars,
There will be no need for screams and hollers,
Just sit back, relax, and take a breath,
Wait for him in the alley, jump out and scare him to death.

He's resented everywhere, the little scarlet blob.
But don't be mad, he's just doing his job.
He awaits on the game board, that hardly seems seedy.
Getting ready for contestants to get a little greedy.
Stop on him and he'll steal your cash,
And he's sure to do it with hype and flash.
But he's not mean, not really laughing at anyone,
he just smiles since he completed a job well done.

Other game shows have Stingers, other game shows have Dollar Bills.
Other game shows have Lightning, Dragons, and Devils.
But above all others, above the Bandits and the Bust card,
There's the Whammy taking your cash and trip to Scotland Yard.
The only game show villain worthy of wearing a hero's cape.
Stoppers are bad but Whammys drive you ape.
So keep your Klunks and Zonks and Stop Cards, and keep your Bankrupt space,
I prefer the Whammy, the game show villain ace!

Up One Level to: Press Your Luck Poetry

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